I never thought that when I came to New Zealand that I would have to constantly be on the look out for these devious monsters. Every day that I walk to the class, down to town, or to the beach, I literally have to go out of my way to avoid pulling a Regina George (Mean Girls) and getting dominated by this killer. But these aren't just your everyday monsters. They may be land dwellers, but I swear from time to time they fly as well. Mostly, this creature uses its wings to speed up and fly through intersections when they spot vulnerable pedestrians trying to cross a road. They also tend to enjoy sneaking up behind a pedestrian who may be just on the edge of the sidewalk and try to get close enough to just graze their side or cause them so much fright that they might happen to jump into traffic and get runover by the next of the monsters in the pack. The worst part of this second circumstance is that the monster's shadow typically engulfs the pedestrian just milliseconds before the actual monster appears, so poor pedestrians can only feel the darkness coming over them but have no time to prepare for the cruel attack. These monsters have no mercy at all, especially towards American's who are new to the country and forget to look right first rather than left before crossing the road. The bad news is that it is impossible to defeat them; they are high in numbers, maintain dominance in speed, size and strength, and are utterly heartless. There is absolutely no getting away! So if you ever decide to be a pedestrian in Auckland, beware of these deadly creatures because (to them) pedestrians DO NOT have the right away and they will go out of there way to make this known.
I love your blog pot because I too am incredibly frightened by public transportaion abroad. It was really smart to dub busses monsters and refer to them as such throughout your whole entry. Your writing style has flow and the topic you chose is comical. I actually LOLed (laughed out loud) reading this post because I was nearly pummeled in Amsterdam by bikers and the cars in Alcala have no remorse. Good luck against those mean green machines and on your blogging. I really like how descriptive you are, look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteIronically, I was reading this and thought immediately about the Amsterdam bikers as well, "I have to comment", I thought. Walking through Amsterdam I had to figure the bikes were cruising at a whopping 40 mph. The oblivious creature that I am almost became road kill several times while I was in Amsterdam. We had to look both ways for cars but once we crossed it was imperative that we remember to look for bikes too. It happened to at least one person a street crossing, that someone in the back of the group would have to scream "BIKE!!!".. it was so bizarre. I can't even imagine the road rash that the biker would have as well going flying off their bike at such a high speed. You couldn't have said it better Laura, these bike riders will go to any length -including risking their lives- to prove that they have the right away. Good luck with the jolly green giant!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post because it actually made me laugh. You are very descriptive and your use of personification really made the post come alive. I appreciate the humor behind it and can also sense your passion for the subject. In Copenhagen the bikers are insane, they will actually run you over and I have had some close encounters so I completely understand your fear of these buses. Good luck staying out of the way!
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